Finding the Software Nectar

I have quirks. One has to do with information workers named Jerry.

When I meet a Jerry, I’ll insist that this new Jerry suffer the whole Seinfeld sitcom shtick where I, in thinly veiled disgust, say

“Hello Jerry”

and he, on queue, snidely responds to me with

“Hello Newman”

This all started years ago with a Microsoft practice director named Jerry. The shtick with this particular Jerry works well since I’ve long suspected we don’t trust each other.

“You know who you are, Jerry.” 🙂

This Seinfeld repartee amuses more than embarrasses (although increasingly more Jerrys have never watched the 1990’s Seinfeld TV series).

When I find myself enduring an insufferable meeting with Jerrys, my Jerry-tick possesses me like a pesky eye twitch. Every time this Jerry makes a constructive suggestion, I’ll respond with

That’s gold Jerry, gold!

It’s obnoxious, but I’m no Kenny Bania.

I apologize, in advance and in arrears, to Jerrys future and past.

Many agile software teams are burdened with stakeholders and product owners that set direction grounded in whim rather than on hard data. My guess is that most product owners don’t possess savant-like industry knowledge.

I’ve had it with coding to whim.

Should the next step be sarcastically applying That’s gold Jerry, gold! across the range of names to software product owners setting direction based on whim?

Many species, like honey bees, must forage optimally to survive. There is too much churn on most agile software projects. Burn-down charts have developers buzzing, but today’s programmers are worker bees bewildered by the fog of business whim.

There must be more efficient means to find the nectar.